Not Nick Nolte's Diary

Not Nick Nolte's Diary

by Joal Ryan
Oct 19, 2004, 5:45 PM PT

So, in between Jamba Juices and bird-cage cleanings, Nick Nolte has been digging the David Bowie tune "Cat People" and wondering: Is Bowie "talking about cat people in the sense of some sort of society of cat mutations or...[about] humans who happen to be like cats?"

These musings from the Oscar-nominated star's ostensible online log--ostensible being the key word.

Per his camp, Nick Nolte has nothing to do with Nick Nolte's Diary (www.nicknoltediary.com), much less its chronicling of Malibu-style banality and all the fresh-squeezed juice runs it entails.

"We have no affiliation with it in any way," publicist Arnold Robinson said Monday.

So, if Nick Nolte's not writing Nick Nolte's Diary, just who is?

Christian Newton and Casey McAdams.

The aspiring screenwriters, both Nolte fans, concocted the site as an antidote to the actor's official, but perpetually "under construction" URL at www.nicknolte.com).

That, and "I feel there just wasn't enough pageantry in the world," McAdams said Tuesday.

McAdams said he and Newton often write characters in their screenplays with Nolte in mind.

Being in Nolte's mind as a diarist, on the other hand, was a completely different feeling.

"It was humid," McAdams said.

Part of the diary's mission, Newton said, was to turn around the image of an actor whose wild-haired mugshot for a 2002 drunken-driving arrest was gawked at across the globe.

"Maybe his real life is more genteel [than that]," Newton said.

Enter Leon.

In the universe of Nick Nolte's Diary, Leon (no last name given) is the technical whiz who helps the Hulk star get started "with this Website business."

Other characters to populate the entries are Manolo, the manservant named after President Nixon's valet Manolo Sanchez; Constance, the companion on a wine-country tour; and Neil Young, yes, that Neil Young.

The veteran rocker is a supposed Nolte crony who hangs with the 63-year-old actor. Playwright Sam Shepard is another.

The Nolte diary is full of references to both men, as well as Nolte's The Thin Red Line director Terrence Malick and actress Rosanna Arquette, with whom he supposedly fender-bendered. ("I made a joke about celebrities never having license plates," the Oct. 8 entry reads. "Then I saw she indeed did have them. I felt embarrassed but I think the scene would have worked in a film.")

The online journal--accented by a "good 19th century [engraving] of the South Pacific islands"--was updated daily from Aug. 14 through Monday, when the Bowie entry was added.

Up until last week, McAdams said, the site was maintained for his and Newton's own entertainment. Then, last Wednesday, McAdams said, "We got curious."

To whit: Would anyone else be entertained by Nolte's faux thoughts?

Turns out more than a few anyone elses were. The site got blurbed in numerous blogs and had some wondering if Nolte's home really was stockpiled with blenders.

"We always thought it was absurd enough and strange enough that it would be apparent to anyone who read it [that it was parody]," Newton said. "We always hoped it was in good fun."

On Monday, Nolte's rep had no comment as to whether the actor planned to take action against his online doppelgänger.

On Tuesday, Newton said he and McAdams received a cease-and-desist letter from Nolte's lawyer.

With legalese still to be sorted out, the adventures of Nolte, Leon and Manolo were suspended on Tuesday--the site was still up, but no new entry was added.

"I don't want to anger Nolte or his people," Newton said.

Newton said he hopes some sort of disclaimer will appease the actor's camp. In lieu of that, he said he always dreamed that the real Nolte would take over the site and do the entries himself.

With Leon's know-how, anything is possible...