How hard can it be to catch a bubble?

You're sold. You want in. Even if you have no idea what the movie's about, you want to see it in every format--on the same day--or at least know you could if you had the time. And knew what it was about.

At the crack of mid-morning Friday, the adventure begins. You head straight to Yahoo! Movies to find out where Bubble's playing at a theater near your metropolitan Los Angeles home.

One problem: You can't find Bubble in the pull-down "Browse by Title" menu. So, you try the search engine. You find the movie page. You click on showtimes. One more problem: "Sorry, showtimes are not currently available."

You excuse yourself from the online world, retreat to the cave and emerge with an artifact historians tell us was called a "newspaper." You flip through its gray, muddied sheets (known as "pages"), until you spy the Bubble ad, severed doll heads and all.

"Exclusive Engagement Starts Today!" the copy promises. And the listing delivers: The Nuart in West L.A. has three scheduled screenings, starting at 5:20 p.m.

Similar ads, you later learn, are likely running in cities such as Denver, Houston and Milwaukee. In all, Bubble will debut on 34 big screens across the country Friday, according to BoxOfficeMojo.com. That's a "sizable opening," the site's Brandon Gray says, for a no-star, low-budget movie that's supposedly the beginning of the end of the theater-going experience. (One big reason for the not small debut: 2929 Entertainment isn't just the company behind Bubble, it's also the owner of the Landmark Theatres chain.)

The bottom line: If you so choose, you can see Bubble on Friday at a theater from here (L.A.) to there (New York City). One readily available format down, two to go.

"And also [available] today on HDNet Movies (check cable listings for times)," the Bubble ad notes.

You do one better than checking the listings. You go straight to the source. HD.net tells you Bubble will air twice on its movie channel on Friday night, at 6 p.m. (PT) and 8 p.m. (PT). Visions of severed doll heads dance in your human head. Where do you sign up?

With your local cable provider, you're told. You clear your calendar, and dial accordingly.

"How would I get HDNet Movies?" you ask the Charter operator.

"What did you say it was?" the Charter operator replies.

Once the communications channels are cleared, you are transferred to the "high-speed department." There, you learn HDNet Movies is available as part of a package of high-definition, or HD, channels. The fees sound reasonable to one inured to cable bills that could pass for rent checks: $6.99 a month for the channels; $3 a month for the HD receiver box.

"Do you have an HDTV set?" you are asked.

No.

"You need an HD set."

Oh.

See, being as technologically sophisticated as the Amish, you kinda thought you could watch HDTV on a regular TV as long as you realized the picture wasn't going to be any good.

"So, you're saying you need an HD set to watch HDTV?" you ask, so as to further establish the density of your denseness.

"Yes."

Oh.

Inspired, you virtually rush to Circuit City, where you find a 27-inch Samsung HDTV for only $599. (Top models continue to go for $2,000--easy.) Still, $599 is a steep price, even steeper than the average L.A. movie ticket. You pass for now.

So as to not feel alone, you call the National Cable & Telecommunications Association, and ask them ply you ASAP with statistics as to how many people do (and do not) have HDTV. According to the requested JupiterResearch report, about 18 percent of U.S. TV homes were equipped with HDTV sets in 2005. Or, to put it another way, about 82 percent of U.S. TV homes can't possibly partake in the Bubble revolution on Friday night--no HDTV sets; no HDNet Movies; no dice.

But the report makes clear that change is a-coming. By 2009, it's projected, 54 percent of TV homes will be HDTV-friendly. Or, to put it another way, by 2010 even your Luddite self may have joined in the fun.

You ask the cable guy--officially, a vice president of communications--if the Bubble release is a significant moment in the growing HDTV movement. Brian Dietz says his organization isn't about making sweeping statements. So, he sticks to a modest one: "Certainly, it could be the start of the trend."

Another potential trend-starter: Bubble's insta-DVD release, which is viewed as the most biggest threat to the kingdom of the multiplex.

Jasmine France, an associate editor at CNET.com, tells you she's up for watching most (but not all) movies on DVD, as opposed to in theaters--"especially if it's available on Netflix."

"When I don't feel like going out," France says. "I don't feel like going out."

Speaking of the release... Where can you get one of them Bubble DVDs?

Blares the Bubble ad: "And, starting Tuesday, Jan. 31, at video stores everywhere."

Um, starting Tuesday?

Doesn't "simultaneously," as in "Bubble [will be] released simultaneously in theaters, on DVD and on HDNet Movies," mean "at the same time?"

Apparently not.

And doesn't "everywhere," as in "video stores everywhere," mean everywhere?

Apparently not.

"Do you have the movie Bubble due to come in on Tuesday?" you ask your local Blockbuster.

"Like 'bubble'--'b-u-b-b-l-e'?" the clerk asks.

Yes, you reassure her.

Understanding that Blockbuster is, well, Blockbuster, you investigate further and find that, yes, the movie will be available Tuesday through Netflix and even Blockbuster.com. And your local non-Blockbuster in Silverlake? It can get you a copy sooner, as in Friday, as in the true spirit of simultaneous.

So, not bad. In less than an hour, you found two ways to be part of the so-called Bubble revolution. Now, if only you wanted to see the movie from whence the severed doll heads came.

"I doubt Bubble will burst the theatrical business," says Gray. "The real test will be when they do this [release pattern] with a movie people want to see."

Naysayer or no, Gray is the first person you talk to who's says he's going to see Bubble on Friday, or at least tape it off HDNet Movies on Friday.

"Well, it's business," Gray says. "If I didn't have to see it, I wouldn't see it."

But now you can see it--or not--in so many more formats.